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David Porkka

A Brief Rant

Abbreviated is a long, hypocritical word. English should adopt the Spanish way of specifying small things by adding “ita” or “ito” to the end of words. This would work for everything, except margaritas. But maybe there was an even larger drink called magar which was just too big.

I also don’t understand why brief messages are short but brief cases are large. I suppose if you have many brief messages to fit in your brief case it’s inevitable that it would have to be larger, but the average brief case is larger than the average case — and that’s wrong.

Not even post man who carry hundreds of brief messages, use brief cases; instead they carry a large, ergonomic mail pouch. And why do some mail men and mail women have the honor of carrying the mail pouch, and others drive mail trucks? Why are there no biking mail men and women? Is it a safety risk if they fall and sue the government for letting them carry mail and ride a bike?

Are there motorbike postal workers? I’ve never seen them. That would probably be the quickest method of delivering mail, especially if you sent out a fleet of mail bikers with organized trench coats and multi-pocketed pants.

The garbage service has caught on to this strategy. Instead of investing in a few gigantic garbage trucks, they send out a small army of three wheeler trucks that can quickly maneuver narrow driveways and alleyways to pickup garbage everywhere.

The mail system needs to learn from the waste management system and the English language needs to adopt simpler means of communicating the little things.